Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
