next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My underwear smells like fireworks.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
