My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
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The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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