biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize