he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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