I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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