are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
