We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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