Define "chronic" masturbator.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
