I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
