then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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