That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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