Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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