He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
