I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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