I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
