I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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