pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
