I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
