Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
