Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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