I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize