wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
bring money and cleavage
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
