So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
