ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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