Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
