you guys were way drunker than both of me
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
