the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
How's work?
Spinning.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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