Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I can't turn off my feet"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
