Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
