So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
