I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
