never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
