So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
