yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
