By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
