Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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