i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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