very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
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I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
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I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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