question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
