Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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