a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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