So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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