hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
