Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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