Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Randomize