This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
