I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
