mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
