Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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