He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
