What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
