i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
