I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
