I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
