i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
