this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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