singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You smell like a Billy Joel song
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
