Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
