Do vagina's smell?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize