yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
