ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
