We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize