Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Randomize
