When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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